


Yearning

by msrefreshing



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Canon Compliant, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Fluff, M/M, Original Character(s), POV Victor Nikiforov, Pining, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26843542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrefreshing/pseuds/msrefreshing
Summary: Loosely based on the Twitter trope: where Character A confesses their love to Character B in their native language but when Character B asks for a translation, Character A gets flustered & lies, & Character B convinces themselves that they just imagined the tenderness in A's voice.This fic goes along with the show from episodes 5-7 (basically Yuuri's press conference to the Cup of China).
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	Yearning

**Author's Note:**

> As I used a lot of quotes from the show, I want to say I definitely do not own Yuri on Ice. I was intending for this to be a short, smut-filled fic, based mainly on the different-language confession trope but it took control of me and I ended up with this. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> (Disclaimer: I do not speak Japanese and used Google translate for Yuuri's Japanese. If you speak Japanese and think it needs to be modified, please let me know and I will be happy to change it. I mean no disrespect if it translated something incorrectly.)

Viktor watched Yuuri’s emotional declaration after the Southern Regional Championships but as Yuuri was speaking Japanese, he never fully understood that Yuuri had essentially admitted that the reason for his motivation and theme of love that season was Viktor himself. Even if Viktor had been able to understand, he would have chalked it up to loving Viktor as his coach, his idol, and his friend. Not in the way Viktor was hoping.

You see, Viktor showed up to Hasestu simply to be Yuuri’s coach. He didn’t even know how long it would last, he just knew even if for just this season, he wanted to build Yuuri’s confidence, bring out the man’s true potential, and then possibly go back to Russia with Yuuri as a fierce competitor and hopefully more inspiration for himself as a skater.

Viktor wasn’t expecting to fall head over heels for the man. Yuuri just had this way about him. He reminded him of all the things he’d been neglecting over the past 20 years as a skater. Life, love, intimacy, opening up to a person? These were all mostly foreign concepts to the Russian skater. The closest he’d gotten to actually opening up to a person in the last 20 years was when Chris had grown into the senior division and they regularly got drunk together and talked about what they felt was forbidden to think about - life after skating, relationships and their lack thereof, and god forbid, a family of their own.

Viktor looked at Yuuri and all of the sudden, he ached for all of those forbidden things. And he only wanted them with Yuuri. For the first time in his life, Viktor wanted security, something constant, someone to come home to. He had suggested Yuuri and him sleep next to each other the first night he was in Hasetsu to learn more about him, but now thoughts like that wouldn’t leave his head. The idea of just being that close to Yuuri, he could choreograph hundreds of performances to that thought alone.

So Viktor watched Yuuri celebrate his win at the competition, and tell the world of his love for Viktor, and continued on, holding the way Yuuri’s voice had sounded in his head. The emotion, the powerful declaration, the tenderness of it all. If Yuuri didn’t love him in the way Viktor loved him, then at least he had that to hold onto, once Viktor had to go back to life without the Japanese skater.

“Congratulations on your win Yuuri! We’ll have to buy you a new necktie before your next competition,” Viktor exclaimed.

“Thank you, Viktor,” Yuuri blushed.

They returned to Japan more motivated than ever. Viktor watched as Yuuri started to truly show himself on the ice and in turn only fell more in love with the man. Watching Yuuri perform an entire routine based on Viktor stepping into his life and finally accepting the love of his family and those around him, while having to attempt to tone down his own feelings for him, proved to be the most challenging part of being Yuuri’s coach.

Just teaching Yuuri made Viktor want to rip his clothes off and show just how much he felt for the man. He wanted to document that frustrated, determined look Yuuri got every time he didn’t land a jump, and also memorize the distinct half-smile he gave Viktor after he nailed another run-through. Yuuri reminded Viktor of himself with his determination and sheer want to be better. Viktor had never had so much sheer respect for another skater, except maybe Chris.

All the while, Viktor was trying his best to seduce Yuuri! Admittedly, he didn’t have much experience with courting someone but it didn’t seem like it should be this difficult! He’d looked up on the internet how to do it and based on WikiHow, he was doing all the steps! He had shown plenty of interest in his background (he already had to know that as Yuuri was a potential competitor to Viktor), they had plenty of common ground both being professional skaters, he talked about his hope for Yuuri’s future, and had even met his family! Maybe Yuuri just wasn’t interested in him.

He knew Yuuri was supposedly imagining a pork cutlet bowl when performing his Eros routine, understandably, and Viktor had even tried to bring up the idea of Yuuri dancing for him just to see what his response would be and it didn’t even seem to phase him.

“Yuuri, if you can seduce me, you can seduce the entire audience. Imagine it!”

“Alright, Viktor,” Yuuri replied with a slight blush on his cheeks that Viktor didn’t notice.

In their minimal free time, Yuuri had shown Viktor around his hometown, to his favorite restaurants and hidden areas he spent in his youth. It was one day when they were eating at Yuuri’s favorite ramen spot that Viktor finally felt a small ounce of hope with the other skater.

“What motivated you to become a skater, Yuuri?” Viktor asked. As of recently, with lots of gentle coaxing, Yuuri was finally starting to open up to him about his past.

He saw a blush rise on Yuuri’s cheeks.

“Honestly, you, Viktor,” he said quietly.

“It began like that. I started to skate from a young age and it was okay. I was terrible at playing on a team and felt like I always brought everyone else down. Skating meant only I was responsible for how good I was. So I practiced and practiced. And then I saw you skate. And I always wanted to be as good as you. And now it’s not only that, but I want to be good so I can prove it to myself,” he explained.

“Do you feel like you can get there now?” Viktor asked.

“If I can’t get there now, then I know I might not ever. This season has changed so much about myself,” Yuuri looked down on his ramen and fiddled with his chopsticks. “I’ve never experienced something like this, like you. I’m not sure why you believe in me so much but I’m so happy you do. It’s given me a confidence I’ve never had before. And it’s taught me that the people around me believe in me too.”

This was the most Yuuri had ever revealed to him. He wanted to write down those words and read them every night in order to always remember the feeling of knowing he’d instilled some sort of pride in Yuuri.

“Yuuri, with complete honesty I can say, you have the potential to rise farther than your biggest dreams. And we will. Together,” Viktor declared.

They walked back home, hearts racing a little more every time their elbows or hands brushed together. Viktor watched Yuuri retire to his room, wishing he would one day have the chance to tell Yuuri just how much he’s changed him too.

Yuuri and Viktor had finally made it to the Cup of China! Viktor was excited to meet Phichit Chulanont, who Yuuri apparently considered his only friend in figure skating. Viktor could finally complete the WikiHow step of courting someone - meeting their friends! Viktor was determined to make a good impression on the Thai skater.

This attempt at a good impression included Viktor trying to get Phichit and Celestino, Yuuri’s former coach who Phichit had invited to hot pot with them, to try various foods in which they were not interested in. Since this wasn’t working, he decided to try to learn more about Yuuri’s past instead from the two.

That attempt ultimately failed as Viktor, in his attempt to leave a good impression on everyone, engaged in a drinking match with Celestino in which he at least proved himself at being able to hold his liquor to the two important members of Yuuri’s life.

When he was asked later by Yuuri if he remembered taking off his clothes and encouraging everyone to visit a hot spring while hugging him, he just said a shaky no and blamed the vodka.

The next day began the Cup of China’s performances, which also gave way to a Yuuri Viktor had never seen before.

Viktor watched as Yuuri focused on every aspect of his warm-up with the most care he had ever seen. Normally, Yuuri would go in between discussing the aspects of the performance he struggled with at length, and then going completely silent as he stretched and tried to mentally focus.

This time, it was as if the latter part had taken over and he was completely zoned in on every step of the process.

Viktor knew he was ready for the next level of his short program. Yuuri could charm the entire audience, the entire world, with his story-telling skating. By all means, he had charmed Viktor himself, without ever intending to.

Viktor walked with Yuuri to the edge of the rink and took his hand as he skated onto the other side of the ice.

“You can fight with your own personal charm,” Viktor said as he rubbed Yuuri’s hand. He couldn’t help himself today. “You can envision it yourself, can’t you?”

All of the sudden, Yuuri stepped up to touch his forehead against Viktor’s.

“Don’t ever take your eyes off me.”

Viktor’s breath caught in his throat as he could feel Yuuri’s against his lips. He had never seen that look in Yuuri’s eyes. It was full of determination, of possessiveness, of _lust_. It took everything Viktor had not to crush his mouth against Yuuri’s but dammit they were in the middle of a Grand Prix Final qualifying competition and now was not the time for Yuuri to be looking at him like he wanted to devour him.

As if Viktor could ever take his eyes off Yuuri if he tried.

Viktor touched his forehead where he’d felt Yuuri’s against his and wondered what caused this sudden switch in the skater. He then watched his own Yuuri, his wonderful student, his closest friend, perform a damn near perfect free skate, one that would rival his own if he were competing. If there was ever a moment Viktor could say he knew he could never not love this man, it would be that one.

Viktor was all too proud and prepared to praise Yuuri after his skate. They finished the interviews and Viktor started to notice Yuuri begin to question his newfound confidence.

That night, as Viktor was almost asleep, he heard Yuuri once again confess his love to Viktor, in his native language, without Viktor knowing what he was saying. He heard Yuuri whisper so quietly, he could barely tell he was even saying something.

“Viktor, ashita ga don'nani susun demo, watashi wa anata o aishite iru koto o shitte hoshī. Kono sekai de naniyori mo. Anata wa watashi ni ai ga don'na kanji ka o misete kuremashita. Anata wa watashi ni ai ga don'na kanji ka o misete kuremashita. Soshite, ashita ga kite, watashi ga subete o ushinai, soreto tomoni anata o ushinatta baai, watashi wa itsumo anata o aishimasu. Watashi ga katte mo, anata ga satte mo watashi wa dōyō shimasen. Shikashi ima, anata wa koko ni ite, anata wa watashi no monodesu. Soshite aishiteimasu, vitya.”

(English: Viktor, no matter how tomorrow goes, I want you to know I love you. More than anything in this world. You’ve shown me what love feels like. And if tomorrow comes, and I lose everything and you along with it, I will always love you. I won’t be upset if you leave, even if I win. But right now, you’re here, and you’re mine. And I love you, vitya.”)

Viktor could hear the tenderness once again, similar to the way Yuuri spoke at the press conference at the Regional Championships. He only recognized one word - _vitya_. It was a Russian word meaning “ _life._ ” Maybe, just maybe, Viktor was hearing Yuuri tell him he was his life. Maybe the last few months had meant as much to Yuuri as they did to Viktor. Maybe there was a chance. Viktor smiled to himself as he allowed himself to hope once again that Yuuri could be his, not now, but after this skating season, and forever after that. And maybe Yuuri wouldn’t just be his student and friend, but more. Viktor allowed his chest to swell with the hope for a few moments and then promptly returned to reality.

If there was a time for that to happen, it couldn’t be now. He had to wait. They were in the middle of the competition season and his biggest goal was showing Yuuri his potential as a skater, not admitting his love for him. If Yuuri was saying to Viktor what he hoped he was saying, Viktor couldn’t distract Yuuri with his feelings and ruin the season for him.

Besides, what if Yuuri just now was simply telling Viktor how thankful for him he was as a coach or talking out loud for someone else entirely? He couldn’t assume he was even calling Viktor his vitya. He could have feelings for someone else entirely - Phichit or Minako-sensei. He’d asked Yuuri about it before but that was before they were as close as they were now, Yuuri could have definitely been too nervous to say yes. Either way, Viktor wouldn’t do anything to potentially throw off Yuuri’s season.

With that, he closed his eyes and fell asleep, trying not to remember the way Yuuri had sounded, as fantasies of Yuuri looking at him and telling him he was his life, flooded his head.

The next day of the China Cup was exactly the opposite of Viktor’s expectations and essentially crushed his belief that he was doing a good job as Yuuri’s coach.

He really thought he had finally begun to inspire confidence in Yuuri and make the man believe in his skating abilities. Apart from obviously hoping to spend the rest of his life in a loving relationship, that was his first and foremost goal with Yuuri since getting to know him in Hasetsu.

Yuuri looked like he hadn’t slept at all and to say his nerves were getting to him was an understatement. Viktor tried to encourage Yuuri to nap and shamelessly decided himself taking a nap as well was the perfect way to make sure Yuuri actually listened to him.

Viktor did everything he could to calm Yuuri’s nerves. He prayed Yuuri would actually listen to him when he told him not to do any jumps during warm-ups. Of course he did anyway, he probably wouldn’t have listened to Yakov if he’d have told him that. He encouraged Yuuri to take it easy during warm-ups. Nothing was working and he himself was starting to panic in his own ability as a coach. If he couldn’t calm Yuuri down and inspire him now, what good was he for? In Yuuri’s professional or personal life?

Viktor could just watch as Yuuri’s nerves and anxiety continued to crumble around him as he heard how others were performing. He dragged him to the parking garage hoping he could get Yuuri to calm at least a little bit. He wished he’d read the WikiHow on how to calm down your first skating student before a competition instead of the courting one now.

He could hear the thunderous applause from Chulanont’s performance. He could almost feel Yuuri’s heart race and eyes widened in response. He grabbed Yuuri’s face in his hands.

“Don’t listen!”

He racked his brain for what to do, for words he could say to help him. He watched the desperation, the fear in Yuuri’s eyes. They looked so similar to when he had first met him. Then an idea popped into his head.

_If their hearts are so fragile… let’s try shattering his to pieces._

When looking back on this moment, Viktor will undoubtedly admit, this was not his best moment as a coach. His only goal was to ever take the responsibility off of Yuuri and prove he wasn’t perfect. Though, knowing what it resulted in, he can’t say he regrets it too much.

“If you mess up this free skate and miss the podium, I’ll take responsibility by resigning as your coach.”

Viktor’s heart dropped as he watched the tears start to fall from Yuuri’s eyes.

_It shattered!_

He had failed Yuuri. He heard Yuuri say something about him trying to test him and felt immediately guilty. God, he wished there was a class on coaching Katsuki Yuuri, this wonderful, fragile man.

“Uh, sorry, Yuuri,” Viktor tried again to find the right words to say. “I wasn’t being serious-”

Oh poor, sweet Yuuri, thinking he had to live up to an idea Viktor and the world had created. He wished he could get inside the other man’s head and calm each and every one of his fears, tell him he couldn’t go anywhere if he tried. Even if the world took Yuuri’s mistakes as his own, he’d galdy be considered a failure for the rest of his life if it meant he got to keep Yuuri by his side.

“I’ve been wondering if you secretly want to quit!” Yuuri exclaimed.

“Of course I don’t!”

“I know!”

Viktor wanted to cry himself but he didn’t think that would help anything.

“I don’t know what I should do. Should I just kiss you or something?” he asked. He definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud. If it helped, he definitely would, though.

“No! Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win! You don’t have to say anything, just stand by me!”

Viktor’s eyes widened as it all clicked for him. Viktor forgot who he was sometimes, especially the last few months, escaping from the pressure of the competition season. He knew how the audience and judges saw him, but he didn’t realize they’d put all of that on Yuuri. And he’d been taking that weight by himself this whole time.

He’d fix this in the future. He’d stand by Katsuki Yuuri for the rest of his life if he asked him to, and he hoped more than anything he’d get to - whether that was as his coach, his friend, his partner. He’d believe in Yuuri more than anyone ever had before.

Viktor walked with his arm around Yuuri up to the ice, with Yuuri’s words of standing by him echoing in his head. He wished once again, there was a guidebook on figure skating coaching he could have read. Then again, he probably would’ve started it and discarded it as soon as he started reading it.

Yuuri skated out onto the ice and moments later, he felt his fingertips against his scalp. For some reason, that reminded Viktor of Yuuri’s whispers last night, and he felt his heart spike at the touch. He hoped once again he was the person Yuuri could have been talking so lovingly about.

He touched his hand to where Yuuri’s had just been and watched as his student skated out to center ice to perform his free program.

He saw the Japanese skater smile as he began the performance and wondered why. He watched as Yuuri flawlessly executed the first quad and double of his performance. He was in awe of Yuuri, as he breezed through the quadruple salchow, and looked stunning as he did it. He could see the emotion in his performance. He felt his chest swell with love for the other man as he glided across the ice.

“Perfect, Yuuri!”

He heard the judges mention his declaration at the regional championships, and hoped again that maybe this performance was changing as he realized his feelings for Viktor. VIktor himself knew that if he was performing his love for Yuuri, it would be absolutely undeniable. Yuuri nailed his triple loop and gracefully continued his performance. Viktor couldn’t believe his eyes.

As he continued the performance, Yuuri touched down on his triple axel, but managed to recover quickly. Another triple flip. Viktor caught his gaze as Yuuri passed in front of him. His hands were gripping the rink, he already couldn’t wait to tell Yuuri how proud of him he was, how he would never threaten to leave again. He didn’t know how he could ever leave at this point. This was more than Viktor had felt in the last five years combined. It reminded him of how he felt when he first started skating - the pure, unadulterated love for it.

Yuuri continued his inspiring free skate, over-rotating on his next combination, but again, quickly recovering. Shake it off, Yuuri! He redeemed himself by nailing the next combination, Viktor gasping in surprise. He still couldn’t believe how well Yuuri was doing. He was proving time and time again how talented of a skater he was.

He could only describe Yuuri’s step sequence as beautiful, like it was art on ice. He truly told a story with his movements, and Viktor felt like he was falling in love with him all over again. Like he was falling for every moment he’d had with him so far. He could hear how much the crowd loved it. He hoped Yuuri could feel every ounce of love he felt for him.

He anticipated Yuuri’s last jump, a quadruple toe loop. He heard the crowd explode as he watched it.

_A quadruple flip._

His own signature move. Yuuri Katsuki had ended his free skate to Viktor’s own signature move. Not only in the second half, but at the very end of the program. Something Viktor had never ever dared to do. They had never even talked about the idea of ending the program with that. Memories of VIktor skating that same very jump rushed through his head, but watching Yuuri do it made him more proud than he’d ever been of himself.

He couldn’t explain what he was feeling - all he knew was that he loved Yuuri Katsuki more than any other thing on this planet. More than skating, more than the gold medals, even just as much as Maccachin.

He watched the program end as Yuuri once again extended his arm out towards him and felt his heart stop. He couldn’t take it anymore. All the performances, all the declarations Viktor hoped meant he felt the same, all the sheer memories of his time with Yuuri, hit Viktor at once.

He covered his face with his hand and took off sprinting to the kiss and cry.

“Viktor, I did, great right?”

 _“Sweet, perfect, Yuuri,”_ Viktor thought.

He jumped towards Yuuri who was still skating towards the edge of the ice. How poetic, their first kiss, being on the ice that had brought them together. He caught a glimpse of Yuuri’s eyes widening in surprise before crashing his lips onto his. He could feel them both falling in the air, as he moved his hand behind Yuuri’s head to protect him from the ice. He put everything he had into kissing Yuuri, his love, his adoration, his pride for the other man.

He felt Yuuri’s hesitation of surprise before he felt him kiss him back. This feeling was life, Viktor thought. Now that he felt it, he needed it as much as he needed air, water, food, and the ice he’d built a life on.

“This was the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you’ve surprised me,” Viktor said as they broke apart.

“Really?”

They got through the awards ceremony and press conferences and finally settled back into their hotel room for the night. Viktor felt like he was the one now who couldn’t control his nerves. What if Yuuri had just kissed him back because of the adrenaline in the moment? What if he didn’t want to talk about it? What if he really was talking about someone else last night?

“So, Yuuri-” Viktor began, but was quickly cut off as Yuuri launched himself towards Viktor and pressed his lips to his.

“Vitya,” he whispered. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“So it was me then?!” Viktor exclaimed, thinking it must have been him Yuuri was talking so lovingly to last night.

“What - what do you mean?” Yuuri asked.

“The person you were whispering to last night! It sounded like you were saying some very nice things. And then you called them Vitya!”

Yuuri blushed profusely as he sheepishly put his hand behind his head.

“Oh you heard that?” Yuuri quietly said.

“Yes, and I’d very much like to know what you were saying! It sounded quite romantic. But first I’m going to tell you Yuuri,” the Russian said as he took Yuuri’s hand into his and pressed a kiss to it.

“I have never been more proud of you than I was today. You continue to impress me more and more every day. I’ll never do what I did today again if you ask me not to. But I have to tell you how much I love you,” Viktor declared.

He watched as Yuuri broke into a smile, his heart hammering in his chest as he waited for Yuuri’s reply.

“Viktor, I’ve told you twice now how much I love you but you’ve just never been able to understand it. You are my _vitya_. Everything I did today was because of you,” Yuuri replied.

Viktor could only take Yuuri in his arms as a response and try to convey all the love he felt for him in that moment. He took Yuuri’s face in his hands as he pressed their lips together once again, relishing in the fact that he didn’t have to wonder what it would feel like anymore.

Viktor didn’t know where the rest of the season would take him and Yuuri. He also for the first time, wasn’t only defining his life on when the next competition season would take place. For now and it seemed like forever, he would see life as “Before Yuuri” and “With Yuuri, and ardently hoped, there would be no life after him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first Yuri on Ice fic and I'm working on a much longer one so any feedback you have is greatly appreciated :) Thank you for reading!


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